The Power of Gratitude

Blog by Ashley Simpson, LCSW at Agape Therapy Institute

If you enter into a Google search “science behind gratitude” you will get 96,500,000 articles. Obviously, there is something to gratitude. What is gratitude? How is it beneficial? How can I build a gratitude practice?

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is the practice of feeling and acknowledging appreciation. It is focusing, intentionally, on the things that we have, instead of thinking of the things we do not have. It can be focusing on things in your life (your health, your home, your relationship, your kids, etc.), it can be broader things (the sunshine, a sweet smell in the air from spring flowers), or it can be concrete things (a phone call from a friend, a gift, words of encouragement from a coworker). It can be anything that you feel thankful for. Gratitude is noticing those feelings and what you are thankful for.

How is it beneficial?

There are studies about the impact of gratitude on the brain. Practicing gratitude has shown to increase levels of dopamine (the pleasure neurotransmitter), serotonin (the happiness neurotransmitter) and oxytocin (the love/cuddle neurotransmitter) in the brain. Gratitude stimulates areas of the brain that make us feel connected to the world and others, feel heard and seen, and feel happy. It can reduce physical pain, help with sleep, and reduce stress.

Practicing gratitude can literally change your frame of mind. The more you increase your practice of gratitude, the easier it will be to find things to be grateful for, even in tough situations, therefore increasing your resilience. This enables us to better see the “sunshine through the clouds” - that little silver lining that some may see, while others may not. We can see the positives and focus on those things, and that positive frame of mind can help alleviate these mental and emotional symptoms of depression. 

How can I build a gratitude practice?

• Building Intention
  Start noticing things that you feel grateful for. One practice idea is to notice three things from the day before that you feel grateful for. Start thinking about these in the morning when you wake up, when you lay down to go to sleep, when you’re in the shower, or while you are driving; whatever time works where you give yourself a few moments to really notice your thoughts.

• Journaling
  Another form of gratitude practice is writing down the things you are grateful for. This builds your intention by giving yourself a goal and a place to write down your thoughts. An idea that can be effective is to leave the journal on your nightstand so it is there when you lay down to go to sleep, or when you wake up in the morning, and you can have your journaling time at the same time and place every day. One practice could be to write down those three things that you started noticing daily, and make that your practice for 21 days.

• Write a Gratitude Letter
  Write a thank you letter to a friend, family member, coworker, etc. thanking them for something they have done or given to you.
  Write a letter that you do not intend to send. This could be a letter to a loved one who has passed away, or a letter to someone you are not speaking to. Take some time to write to them about the things you are thankful for about them. Then do what you wish with the letter.

• Loving Kindness Meditation
  There is a specific type of meditation called a “Loving Kindness Meditation.” In this scripted meditation we sit with loving, kind thoughts towards others and towards ourselves. This is a practice you can do while you are having a few quiet moments to yourself. There is a meditation hereand here that you could try. 

For more information on gratitude, check out the articles here, here, and here.

Book an appointment with Ashley by clicking here.

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Photo by Marcus Wöckel from Pexels

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Information and Support

Blog by Ashley Simpson, LCSW at Agape Therapy Institute

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is a month for survivors, advocates, activists, and loved ones to get together, to stay educated, and to spread information about services for folks to get help. 

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) researches the prevalence of domestic violence in each state and nationwide. They report “In the United States, more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually” and “1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime with ‘IPV-related impact’ such as being concerned for their safety, PTSD symptoms, injury, or needing victim services.” 

Some things to know about domestic violence:

Types of Abuse:

• Physical - hitting, pushing, choking...
• Sexual - rape, molestation, forced viewing of sexual material/acts....
• Emotional - put downs, name calling, blaming,  shaming...
• Power & Control - manipulation, gas lighting, see more below...

Power and control are often the most common, and most misunderstood, aspects of domestic violence.

Domestic Violence is about power and control. Ways that abusers maintain control can be: controlling who their partner is allowed to see or talk to, monitoring phone and/or internet access, controlling money, keeping identification documents, using children in fights (ex: “If you leave me I will take the kids and you’ll never see them again!”)

Getting Help:

Thanks to the Violence Against Women Act that was passed in 1994, there are more services and protections for survivors. Some resources are:

• Call: 1-800-799-7233(SAFE)

• Text: TTY: 1-800-787-3224

• Online chat: thehotline.org

• Specific for teens/young adults:
  Website: Loveisrespect.org
  Call/Text: 1-866-331-9474

**A SAFETY note here. If you are currently in an abusive relationship, be sure to clear your browser history after accessing any information about domestic violence. The most dangerous time for a person in an abusive relationship is when they are attempting to leave. This is due to the abuser feeling a sense of loss of their power and control over you.

Support:

If you are a survivor, there are ways to tell your story, get connected with other survivors, and to get linked up with advocacy groups.

• Individual Therapy - This is a safe place to process what you are going through, and/or what you have survived. There is power in telling your story and processing what has happened and what you have overcome. You may have symptoms due to the trauma you experienced and therapy is a great way to start coping with and alleviating these symptoms. We have experienced therapists here at Agape Therapy Institute and you can book an appointment on our website agapementalhealth.org. There are also therapists available on psychologytoday.com.

• Support Groups - Support groups are a wonderful way to tell your story and to connect with other survivors and hear their stories. If the group is led by a licensed clinician you also have the benefit of learning some coping skills to deal with symptoms you may be experiencing due to the trauma you survived. There are many support groups for domestic violence and relationships on psychologytoday.com. Under “Get Help” there is a category on the far left “Talk to Someone”, and under that heading is “Support Groups”.

• Advocacy Groups - Joining an advocacy group can be a way to use your voice and your power to help others. Helping others is a proven way to regain a sense of optimism, hope, and self-esteem. You can be trained to be a peer support person through thehotline.org. **Note: Make sure that before joining an advocacy group you have processed your own trauma. We cannot help others before we first help ourselves. Remember the oxygen mask metaphor. You must first put on your oxygen mask before you help another person to put on theirs. 

With the national and state statistics as high as they are, it is highly likely that we all know someone, or are that someone, who has experienced interpersonal violence. Being informed about the ways to get help is the first step towards helping yourself or someone else. Reach out, safely. There are people waiting and ready for your call. 

To book an appointment with Ashley Simpson, LCSW, click here.

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"Woman Crying" Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

The disturbing reality is that Black bodies and lives generally do not matter, and they haven’t mattered for centuries in our society. There is a racist and prejudiced system that marginalizes, oppresses, disenfranchises, traumatizes, incarcerates, and kills Black lives, because of a deep-rooted belief that Black skin is not only inferior, but to be feared. We have seen this time and time again. This is not merely an opinion up for debate; it is a fact.

This is not right, nor is it just. At Agape Therapy Institute, we stand in solidarity with Black lives in supporting the Black Lives Matter movement. We see the pain, the anguish, the anger, the trauma, the violence, the fear, the injustice that Black lives have had no choice but to endure. To all Black lives we say to you: Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. Your pain, your anger, your trauma, your fear, your sadness matter. Your stories matter. Your bodies matter. Your lives matter. You matter. 

As mental health professionals, we know all too well the effects of trauma on individuals, couples, families and communities, on the micro and macro levels. Complex and chronic trauma is especially prominent for Black lives in our society. And yet, we know that Blacks are statistically the least likely of the races to engage in the mental health counseling experience. At Agape Therapy Institute, we understand this is because mental health counseling is largely founded on white philosophies and beliefs, that often alienates people of color. We understand the traditional platform of mental health counseling isn’t designed to fit or support the Black experience. In fact, it often pathologizes and gaslights Black experiences. 

We believe black mental health matters, so we are committed to ensuring this is not the experience at Agape Therapy Institute. Our mission is to provide affordable and accessible mental health counseling to the community, including and especially for Black lives. We will offer a safe, nonjudgmental, accepting space to process trauma, anxiety, depression, fear and anger, to find validation, empathy and support to leverage your strengths, write your story, and achieve your goals. We will also actively object to systemic racism we encounter in our practice, and are committed to racial justice being a part of our milieu therapeutic approach at Agape Therapy Institute.

In Solidarity,

The Agape Therapy Institute Family

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