Want to Know Yourself Authentically?

Blog by Darcia Belizaire, LMHC at Agape Therapy Institute

Being “authentic” has seemed to become a universal cultural buzzword that many people are taking a more serious look at. Yet, it is probably one of the most difficult journeys a person will endure with a yet defined or measurable end. However, it has the best and most beneficial outcome and lifetime effect once achieved, and many of my clients who come for various issues have found that their lack of their authentic presence has played a role.

What is being authentic or authenticity you ask? To put it simply, no matter your setting or the people you are around, you are the constant. Now the reality of that is, it is much more complex when put into action, but these tips that you will get in this 4 part series hopefully helps you get a step closer to being your authentic self and say “I love me!.”

In part I, take a look at the level of attention to who you are and what matters to you. Oftentimes the basic components of self are overlooked or become adaptive based on roles and who we surround ourselves with. Getting back to the basics and taking a look at what matters without those things will help develop a clearer sense of self. Here are tips on how to explore that by asking yourself these questions:

• Describe Yourself: Stick to character traits. It’s important to understand how you currently see yourself, and the difference between who you are now and what matters to you. 
• What do I value?: Now this is where you look at what matters to you. Not always will how you describe yourself will be exactly the same to what you value, and in some aspects that’s okay. If unsure on how to begin answering this, you can simply google personal values to help you get an idea, but refrain from just choosing ones that sound good. When choosing, ask yourself why you value that.
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?: To refrain from overwhelming yourself, start with two each, and use them as your foundation to build on discovering others, and make the necessary changes. 

You should be proud of yourself for taking a step towards self exploration and authentic growth. This journey can be hard to sift through and lead to more questions, and if that happens, that’s okay.  Seeking a therapist is a helpful and a beneficial option as they can guide you and break down potential barriers that arise. 

In Part II, look for tips on how to healthily assess what we have now become more aware of in ourselves!

To book an appointment with Darcia, click here.

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Cultivating joy

Blog post by Britt McKinney, RMCHI

This is the third post in our series exploring Yalom’s “ultimate concerns.”  If this is the first one you’re reading, here’s what you need to know: we can identify things about who we are by considering the meaning we ascribe to death, freedom, isolation, and meaningless in our lives.

Reading that for the first time may be intimidating, so don’t hesitate to earmark this post and read the ones that led up to this section of the discussion.

This post is the one promised last time to explore cultivating joy, which is a catchy way to say that we have the ability to create positivity in our lives. These are 4 tools you can use to increase your agency in enjoying life more fully.


1: When we discuss the concept of death, it gives us an opportunity to consider what it feels like to be alive. Since life and death often trigger anxieties, it is beneficial to take things one breath at a time, literally.

We can be present in the moment by using breath meditation, which can lower heart rate and blood pressure.


2: Freedom is paramount on this topic of joy and that’s because we have the freedom to influence our own outlooks and attitudes. That being said, why not focus on pleasurable thoughts?

Laughter is typically pleasant,,, but sometimes it feels forced. That’s okay! According to Dr. Madan Kataria, when we choose to laugh, whether it is genuine or contrived, and it can lower the cortisol (stress responses) inside us.


3: Isolation is the hot topic during “social distancing”... Right? So try looking at it creatively.

The words we use reflect the things we believe and at times the opposite is true. Either way, it is powerful to consider changing the words we use to describe this specific COVID-19 precaution toward the use of the term “physical distancing” and see what happens as a result.


4: Meaninglessness and joy is the interesting combination and the trickiest challenge to present.

We can consider the core emotions that are at the root of all things to work through this connection. There are a few primary emotions: joy, sadness, fear (some consider anger and disgust core emotions too). Considering ‘joy’ is a deep-rooted and motivating feeling, it is the one we can see when considering what is and is not meaningless. In other words, getting in touch with the things that bring us joy can be a compass for navigating through the way we pursue certain things instead of others.


This discussion of joy may not be a perfect fit for all. The beautiful thing: each person is free to create their own priorities.

Take what you need from this post and leave what’s left.


**Pronoun “their” used to encompass all people.

Britt McKinney is a master level therapist at Agape Therapy Institute.  To book an appointment with Britt, click here.

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Being well in COVID-19

Blog post by Brittney McKinney, RMCHI

Continuing our exploration of who we are, we’ll consider the same topics from Irvin D. Yalom, MD--but this time, as they relate to our wellness.

Remember Yalom’s 4  “ultimate concerns”: death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness? Here’s the questions related to each topic to ask when considering our wellness.

1: Death
Am I being active? How am I sleeping? What am I eating?

2: Freedom
Do I choose constructive perspectives? Can I cultivate joy? Am I caring for my spirit?

3: Isolation
Am I helping others?

4: Meaninglessness
Do I have social support to help me live my best life? Am I working on coping skills with my therapist?

Cultivating joy is, by far, the coolest freedom we all have. Stay tuned for another post related to what Yalom’s concepts could have to do with the notion of joy.

Be well within! You’re working toward that every time you access resources that support your mental health.

To book an appointment with Britt McKinney, RMHCI, click here.

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